Jesswrites.com » Kiddies

Bootylicious!

Jess — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 20:32:06 +0000

One to show the boyfriend someday.

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Books.

Jess — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 17:37:37 +0000

Imagine a very petite 3-year-old girl with big brown eyes and brunette ringlets, who is so little that she can occasionally fit into her 10-month-old sister’s clothing. Got it? Okay. We will call her Gracie.

Gracie: Jessica, I have to go poo-poo.

Me: Okay, then go!

Gracie: Okay. {runs off to her toddler-sized toilet}

…..

5 minutes later

…..

Gracie: JEEESSSSIICCCAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I sprint to the bathroom thinking something is wrong. There she is, still sitting on the toilet with her pull-up at her ankles, looking up at me with those big brown eyes.

Me: What’s the matter?

Gracie: I need books.

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My niece or nephew’s first baby picture!

Jess — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 03:23:28 +0000

My big sister is pregnant. I don’t think I’ve mentioned that here before. Or maybe I did. Either way, the baby will be my very first niece or nephew and I couldn’t be more excited about it!

The little one had his/her very first picture taken today… so without further adieu, I introduce to you my niece or nephew. (We’ll know the sex in a couple months.)

He/she is 14 centimeters long! (Not including the legs.)

No one outside of my family realizes how big of a deal this is to me. My sister has been married now for 3 and a half years. I have been bugging her since the day she got married to have a baby. I absolutely love babies and I’ve watched as all of my cousins have had kids, and all of my friends have become aunts and uncles (or parents!). Well now its finally my turn! He or she is not due until the beginning of February, but time flies so the little guy will be here before I know it!

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Fun moments with the kiddos

Jess — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 04:22:21 +0000

I spend a lot of time with three adorable little girls… and they sure make me smile a lot. The baby started to crawl today. She’s a week away from being 9 months old and her parents couldn’t believe that she wasn’t crawling. The other two started a lot earlier I guess. But today, as if she had been doing it her whole life, she got on her hands and knees and started crawling across the floor towards a toy. When I started clapping and praising her for her new achievement, she just looked up at me with a huge smile and started clapping for herself. Soooo cute!

The two older girls make me laugh a lot too because they say and do the funniest things. Yesterday the 4 yr old fell from the ladder on her bunk bed and got a little “owie” on the side of her foot. There was no evidence of the owie because it wasn’t bleeding, it wasn’t swelling up, and there was no bruise. However she very much felt the need to ice it. She assured me that ice works better than kisses and sprinted off towards the kitchen to get an ice pack. Instead of an ice pack she came back with a pie crust. I asked her if she had gotten it from the refrigerator or the freezer. She didn’t understand. “Did you get it from the side where the ice cream is, or the side where the juice is?” I asked. The side with the juice. “Okay, go put that back and get something from the side with the ice cream.” She nodded and sprinted off again. This time she came back with a can of frozen lemonade concentrate. I smiled and said okay because that would work as well as an ice pack. When her owie was all better, she put the can back in the freezer. Not five minutes later the 3 yr old started examining her foot. Then she eagerly tried to get my attention so that she could tell me that she also had an owie on her foot. I looked but didn’t see anything. “I don’t see anything hun,” I said. “But Jessica I have an owie on my foot! I need to ice it!” This was sounding very familiar. “I think you’re going to be okay.” “Nooooooo!! I need to ice it with the frozen lemonade!” She faked an injury so that she could put a can of frozen lemonade against her foot just like her big sister did. Why? I guess it sounded like too much fun to pass up.

And then today I laughed out loud as I watched the 4 yr old (who barely weighs 30 pounds) try to walk a very excited 10 yr old while lab who is more than double her size to the park. As much as she wanted to take him on a walk, she was the one being taken for a walk…. or run. She kept yelling “HEEL HUNTY! HEEEEEEEL!!!” as he only continued to go faster. After awhile when he had calmed down a bit she was able to tighten the leash so that she had a little more control over him. She thought she was very cool. I agreed and said “That’s right K, you show him who’s boss.” She tightened the slack even more and yelled, “You hear that Hunter! I’m the boss of youuuuuuuuuuu…..!!!!” just as he took off running again, dragging her behind him. Maybe you had to be there, but I found the whole scene hilarious.

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Conversation with a 4-yr-old girl

Jess — Sun, 04 May 2008 06:24:27 +0000

K: I don’t like all the other princesses. I only like Ariel… and Sleeping Beauty.

Me: But Ariel is your favorite, right?

K: Yeah. Is Ariel your favorite princess too?

Me: Not really. I’m not really into princesses. I like princes better.

K: Why do you like princes?

Me: Because they are handsome… and charming. Like Prince Eric!

K: I don’t like princes because they are boys. I only like girls.

Me: You’ll like boys someday.

K: Nuh-uh! *pause* Can girls marry girls for real?

Me: Ummm… not usually, but there’s at least one place that they can.

K: Can a boy marry a boy?

Me: Only in Vermont… or wait, Massachusetts… somewhere in New England.

K: I want to marry a girl.

Me: Well it will probably be legal in California by then… so go for it. =)

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Bubble gum, bubble gum, in a dish!

Jess — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 16:52:30 +0000

Do you remember being a kid in the summer, spending the late afternoon/early evening playing in the driveway? I could be wrong, but I’m pretty sure this is a very typical childhood activity since I often see kids out in their driveways riding bikes, drawing with chalk, running through the sprinklers, etc. So yes? Anyway, I completely forgot how fun it was until this past weekend. I think as we get older, we become more high maintenance on how easily we are entertained. Our minds have to be absorbed into something such as conversation, television, the computer, a book… and I know this is true for me because I quickly get bored when playing with sidewalk chalk or dress-up clothes with the little girls. But the other day, I played in the yard/driveway like I was a little kid again and loved every minute of it. First, I played catch with my 9 yr old cousin. Then I attempted to master the pogo stick. After I failed miserably at that, I counted the jumps for my cousin to see if she could break her own record. I counted to 523 before she fell off. She made it look so easy that I tried it myself once again. My pogo stick record is 6 jumps. My consolation prize for sucking was bruises all over my knees. I could have cared less though, because I was having a blast. Next I played on a scooter. I rode all around the driveway again and again. I tried to do tricks. I’m sure I looked completely ridiculous, but once again I didn’t care because it was really fun. Then we got out the jump rope! It’s amazing how you never forget the chants that you learn when you’re 5 years old. (”Cinderella dressed in yellow, went upstairs to kiss a fellow….”) We tried to incorporate the pogo stick into the jump roping. It didn’t work. (Notice a pattern of failed attempts?) We jumped in and we jumped out. We did half moon and full moon. We jumped two at a time. I jumped so much that I started to get cramps. But of course, I didn’t care.

Playing catch, jumping on a pogo stick, riding a scooter, jump roping…. a typical afternoon for a lot of kids. Now I remember why! And honestly people… it’s way more fun than sitting at your computer all afternoon and good exercise too! So next time you’re out in the yard watching the kids enjoy their simple games, why don’t you go join in! If you keep your mind open, I promise you’ll have just as much fun as they do. (Plus, you’ll have a justified reason to skip the gym.)

And if you really want to celebrate the joys of being a kid (again), eat a popsicle. Those red, white, and blue ones if you have them. They’re my favorite.

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One of those moments when you’re just like, F@*#$&!!!

Jess — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 05:08:19 +0000

On Thursday morning I took the two youngest girls that I watch (2 1/2 & 7 mos) to the zoo. Later, when we were leaving, I put the kids in their car seats and then had to figure out how to shove the double stroller in my not-very-big trunk. It was tricky and was taking a lot longer than I would have liked. All the while I had my car keys in my mouth in order to free up both of my hands. I finally took them out of my mouth and set them on the car next to the trunk while I tried to get the stroller to fit one last time. I wasn’t very optimistic that the trunk would even close so I used a lot of force to slam it shut. It latched. Hooray, right? WRONG. My car keys fell into the trunk right as I was slamming it. Typically, this wouldn’t be such a big issue because you can pop the trunk from inside the car. But I have a convertible. So, in order to prevent random strangers in the parking lot from popping my trunk when the top is down, you have to have the keys in the ignition for the button to work. Sooo… I was pretty much screwed. But luckily, a really nice couple with a little boy walked by right as I was attempting to use all my strength to rip open the trunk. I didn’t even care if I broke it because I was in panic mode. The couple offered to give me a ride, along with the 2 girls, back to the house (3 miles away) where I had a spare set of keys. So everything worked out. What a terrible feeling, though, when you realize you just did something really stupid and you can’t go back in time a few seconds to fix it. Ugh.

Anyway, I have the stomach flu. I was going to write a lot more tonight but that is about all I can handle for right now.

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Babysitting Guidelines

Jess — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 00:17:46 +0000

I’ve come up with a few basic guidelines for spending your time with little tots since I’ve been doing a lot of that lately… this is valuable information so please take it very seriously.

#1 - Do not wear clothes that you like. In fact, you should have an entirely seperate wardrobe that you are okay with getting gross substances on including (but not limited to) spit-up, poop, food, more food, non-identifiable stickyness, dirt, mud, ink, paint, nail polish, chalk, vomit, smooshed insects… and other things that you’ve never even heard of before.

#2 - Do not start doing something fun that you do not wish to spend the rest of the day/night doing… a 2-yr-old’s favorite word is “again.” You will be doing that “fun thing” again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again until it is absolutely 100% not fun anymore. (This is especially important if that fun thing involves physical energy. You will eventually run out, but the “agains” will not.)

#3 - You must learn how to maintain the thought process while there is a screaming child in the same room. I’m not saying to ignore them, but be able to think over the excrutiatingly loud noises that come from that teeny tiny person. This is easier said than done, but absolutely necessary. If you lose your ability to think, you will fall apart and I promise you that a 2-yr-old will NOT pick up the pieces.

#4 - Do not ask a young child for their opinion if you do not want a brutally honest answer. Children have no problem telling you that you are fat, ugly, old, a terrible cook, an awful singer, or a pathetic human being. They will most likely tell you what they think even if you don’t ask. Try not to take it personally, even though everyone else you know was probably thinking the same thing. Ouch.

#5 - Similiar to guideline number 2, never purchase a $3 dvd at the drugstore for children that you spend a lot of time with. It WILL be a horribly annoying and cheesy movie (hence the $3 price tag) and it WILL become their new favorite… and you will end up watching it so many times that not only will you be able to sing along with it, but the songs will get stuck in your head. And you will want to murder yourself.

#6 - Kids love stickers. Use them as bribes at every possible situation that allows for it. In most cases, stickers work even better than cookies. (Thank God because I wouldn’t want to be responsible for contributing to childhood obesity just to save my nerves.)

#7 - Last but not least, watch The Office at every opportunity you get. Laugher is good for the soul… Plus, The Office will make you happy and happy people are much better babysitters. (Just thought I’d throw that in there since the new episodes started back up tonight. Yay.)

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Tales from summer camp

Jess — Thu, 08 Jun 2006 15:26:48 +0000

At this very moment I am sitting in an airport, waiting for my flight to the east coast where I will spend the next two months of my life living in a cabin full of young girls and teaching windsurfing everyday. But this isn’t the first summer I’ve spent this way. Some of my tales from working at a summer camp would make your eyes pop and your toes curl. This is one of them…. so take this as a warning. MEN: if you don’t like to hear anything about periods, stop reading now. GIRLS: If you’ve ever felt the awkwardness of being a 13 year old girl, you’re about to laugh your ass off. Last summer I was the proud counselor of nine 12 and 13-yr-old girls. As you know, this is the age that a lot of girls start going through puberty, and just over half of my girls had their period. One of my favorite campers who I will call Lisa* had only had her period for two or three months when she arrived at camp for the summer. All Lisa had ever used was pads, which aren’t ideal when you are required to participate in water activities everyday. Lisa had to face the fact… it was time to learn how to use a tampon. There was one big problem: she was horrified of tampons. On the first dreadful day of her period at camp she spent the majority of her free time in a bathroom stall with a mirror. Every few minutes we would hear yelps of fear or pain come from the stall. As her counselor, I encouraged her as much as I could without making it into a big deal. I explained to her the “how-to” and told her that if a tampon was in correctly, you wouldn’t be able to feel it at all. After a quick pep talk, she would disappear back into the bathroom stall for another half an hour or so. Day one ended unsuccessfully. Not only had Lisa gone through nearly half a box of tampons, but she had yet to actually “use” one.

The next day, Lisa was more determined than ever to learn how to insert tampons because she had sailing that afternoon and she DID NOT want to miss out on her favorite activity. So once again, she disappeared into a bathroom stall for another full morning of unsuccessfull attempts. By evening that day, Lisa was pretty discouraged. She had to sit out of sailing that day and she was starting to feel pretty hopeless. The next day, she came to me and my co-counselor and asked for help… not just advice… but actual “help.” My co-counselor and I felt that the situation could potentially be very inappropriate, but Lisa was so discouraged and upset that we couldn’t turn her down. My co-counselor took charge by following Lisa into the bathroom and sitting on a stool in front of the open stall. Lisa sat down on the toilet and we told her exactly what to do… we figured out quickly that her problem wasn’t that she “couldn’t” insert a tampon, but that she was afraid. Everytime she started to she stopped and chickened out… she was so afraid of it hurting her. Meanwhile, other girls from our cabin walked into the bathroom to help encourage Lisa…. they were her best friends, but I chased them out of the bathroom and told them to give Lisa a little privacy…. it had to be embarrassing enough as it was with her counselors standing there watching her… let alone a group of her friends. I was still feeling very inappropriate about the situation, but Lisa protested when I tried to leave. So I stayed, and my co-counselor continued to coach her by saying things like “yea, right there….” “no, no… that’s the wrong hole.” If anyone would have been able to hear through the wall, I’m sure they would have called the cops or something. But, to all of our relief, Lisa was finally successful at inserting her very first tampon and we all cheered for her as she beemed with a great big toothy smile. So… the moral of the story is: If at first you don’t succeed, try try again. I sure hope I didn’t gross anyone out.

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