I spent the entirety of last week in Los Angeles. It was the most time I’ve ever spent in the area so I feel a little more seasoned to the city now. I was there with the family that I live with and babysit for, so I spent quite a lot of time with the kids… but I used my free time to explore! When most people go to LA, I think checking out Hollywood is a top priority. I was no exception. Although I kind of hate to admit that I actually buy into all of that Hollywood glitz and glam… it still fascinates me. Probably because I grew up in a little farm town in the middle of Michigan where the biggest celebrity you ever see is a guy dressed up as Ronald McDonald. People don’t drive fancy cars, wear fancy clothes, or go to fancy parties. Life is pretty simple and the only exposure to Tinseltown is what you see in the movies. However, since I went to film school, worked at a film studio in Chicago, and met a fair share of celebrities over the years, I feel like I shouldn’t be fazed by Hollywood. (Are you allowed to have that many commas in a single sentence?) Anyway… despite it all, I still feel overwhelmed and a tad bit dazzled whenever I’m in LA. So… last week I decided to be a tourist and check out Hollywood Blvd. I saw the Hollywood Walk of Fame, the famous hand prints at the Grauman’s Chinese Theatre, the famous Hollywood Sign, and was even tempted to go into the wax museum. I felt a little pathetic the whole time, but I sucked it up and let the excitement of it all take over. However, I have to say… the Hollywood sign was an anticlimax. I don’t know why I had built it up so much in my mind… maybe because whenever you see it in the movies there is a “We’re here!! We’re in Hollywood! Anything can happen!” kind of feeling. (Or is that just me?) In reality, it’s just some white letters on a mountain.

I will be returning to the LA area on Monday for the filming of the live season finale of The Hills. Yes, I watch that show. I tried to fight it all through college but I gave up because it actually is mildly entertaining. When I saw that they were looking for people to fill the studio audience for the finale, I applied… not really thinking I’d actually get selected. But I did and I’m going to go. I’m going to see Lauren, Audrina, Whitney, Heidi, and Spencer and love every minute of it. I realize that by admitting this to the world I will lose some credibility from fellow film students alike, but I guess its time to finally come out of the reality TV closet.

K: I don’t like all the other princesses. I only like Ariel… and Sleeping Beauty.

Me: But Ariel is your favorite, right?

K: Yeah. Is Ariel your favorite princess too?

Me: Not really. I’m not really into princesses. I like princes better.

K: Why do you like princes?

Me: Because they are handsome… and charming. Like Prince Eric!

K: I don’t like princes because they are boys. I only like girls.

Me: You’ll like boys someday.

K: Nuh-uh! *pause* Can girls marry girls for real?

Me: Ummm… not usually, but there’s at least one place that they can.

K: Can a boy marry a boy?

Me: Only in Vermont… or wait, Massachusetts… somewhere in New England.

K: I want to marry a girl.

Me: Well it will probably be legal in California by then… so go for it. =)

So where does Heidi Montag get off thinking she should have her own clothing line? She hasn’t done anything involving any talent to become famous and now she’s trying to milk her 15 minutes of reality TV fame by recording music (she can’t sing) and designing clothes. Her line is called Heidiwood–as in Hollywood… real clever. It’s one thing for Lauren Conrad to design clothes considering she is going to school for fashion design AND works for a fashion magazine. But Heidi? Doesn’t she work for a record label or something? Her and Spencer were on The Tyra Banks Show Tuesday and when she was talking about her new line she added that “Everything is between $20 and $60 because I believe fashion should be affordable. Fashion is for everyone.” Ha. Besides in her fashion show, I doubt Heidi would ever be caught dead in her own clothes for the sole reason that they are sold at Anchor Blue. Have any of you ever been to that store? No one with money would shop there. The clothes are very basic, semi-trendy, and cheap. Oh right, just like Heidi. Now I get it. She’s trying to make it seem like she is single-handedly making “fashion” affordable because Lauren’s line is pretty pricey. But Lauren can make her clothes expensive and people will still buy them. I’m pretty sure Heidi doesn’t actually care whether or not her clothes are affordable… Anchor Blue was probably the only store that was willing to carry her line because it is fairly common knowledge that no one would pay more than $60 for something Heidi designed. (There have been studies.)

Anyway, I guess launching your own clothing line is the “cool” thing to do because everyone seems to have one. For example:

• Stuff by Hillary Duff (for kids)
• mary-kateandashley brand (for kids)
• JS by Jessica Simpson
• JLo by Jennifer Lopez
• Hannah Montana Fashion Line (I wonder if the new collection includes bed sheets?)
• L.A.M.B by Gwen Steffani
• House of Dereon by Beyonce
• Chick by Nicky Hilton (Paris has fragrances and jewelry)
• Mblem by Mandy Moore
• William Rast by Justin Timberlake (and a childhood friend)
• G-Unit Clothing by 50 Cent
• Touch by Alyssa Milano
• Apple Bottoms by Nelly
• VB Rocks by Victoria Beckham (wow, a bit vain, don’t you think?)

I think I’ve made my point.

Do you remember being a kid in the summer, spending the late afternoon/early evening playing in the driveway? I could be wrong, but I’m pretty sure this is a very typical childhood activity since I often see kids out in their driveways riding bikes, drawing with chalk, running through the sprinklers, etc. So yes? Anyway, I completely forgot how fun it was until this past weekend. I think as we get older, we become more high maintenance on how easily we are entertained. Our minds have to be absorbed into something such as conversation, television, the computer, a book… and I know this is true for me because I quickly get bored when playing with sidewalk chalk or dress-up clothes with the little girls. But the other day, I played in the yard/driveway like I was a little kid again and loved every minute of it. First, I played catch with my 9 yr old cousin. Then I attempted to master the pogo stick. After I failed miserably at that, I counted the jumps for my cousin to see if she could break her own record. I counted to 523 before she fell off. She made it look so easy that I tried it myself once again. My pogo stick record is 6 jumps. My consolation prize for sucking was bruises all over my knees. I could have cared less though, because I was having a blast. Next I played on a scooter. I rode all around the driveway again and again. I tried to do tricks. I’m sure I looked completely ridiculous, but once again I didn’t care because it was really fun. Then we got out the jump rope! It’s amazing how you never forget the chants that you learn when you’re 5 years old. (”Cinderella dressed in yellow, went upstairs to kiss a fellow….”) We tried to incorporate the pogo stick into the jump roping. It didn’t work. (Notice a pattern of failed attempts?) We jumped in and we jumped out. We did half moon and full moon. We jumped two at a time. I jumped so much that I started to get cramps. But of course, I didn’t care.

Playing catch, jumping on a pogo stick, riding a scooter, jump roping…. a typical afternoon for a lot of kids. Now I remember why! And honestly people… it’s way more fun than sitting at your computer all afternoon and good exercise too! So next time you’re out in the yard watching the kids enjoy their simple games, why don’t you go join in! If you keep your mind open, I promise you’ll have just as much fun as they do. (Plus, you’ll have a justified reason to skip the gym.)

And if you really want to celebrate the joys of being a kid (again), eat a popsicle. Those red, white, and blue ones if you have them. They’re my favorite.

Over the weekend I went to Fresno for my little cousin’s birthday party. Since I was born and raised in the midwest, I never before had the opportunity to easily spend a weekend with my California family so I really love that I can do that now. My cousin turned 14 on Friday and she had a water party/sleepover with about 8 of her friends. My aunt, bless her heart, made enough food for the entire population of Fresno. This is pretty typical of her so I wasn’t all too suprised, but she almost reached a new level this time. When I walked in the house the dining room table was completely covered in food… salad, chocolate fondue, fruit bowls, veggie tray, pasta salad, corn, bakes beans, brownies, cookies, chips, mashed potatoes… then came the grilled burgers, steak, and pork… I was amazed at how much food there was. All this for 14 year old girls? Do 14 year old girls even eat? Apparently so. But then, the best thing of all happened. My youngest cousin ran into the kitchen and yelled, “Make room for the turkey!” The turkey?! My aunt baked a 10 lb turkey for the birthday party. I couldn’t stop giggling every time I looked over at the huge turkey sitting on the table amidst all the other dishes–completely untouched. My uncle saw me laughing and shook his head. “That’s my lunch for the next month.”

exorbitant / adj/ exceeding customary or normal limits, especially in quantity or price

In a sentence… The amount of food that my aunt prepared for the birthday party was exorbitant.

On Thursday morning I took the two youngest girls that I watch (2 1/2 & 7 mos) to the zoo. Later, when we were leaving, I put the kids in their car seats and then had to figure out how to shove the double stroller in my not-very-big trunk. It was tricky and was taking a lot longer than I would have liked. All the while I had my car keys in my mouth in order to free up both of my hands. I finally took them out of my mouth and set them on the car next to the trunk while I tried to get the stroller to fit one last time. I wasn’t very optimistic that the trunk would even close so I used a lot of force to slam it shut. It latched. Hooray, right? WRONG. My car keys fell into the trunk right as I was slamming it. Typically, this wouldn’t be such a big issue because you can pop the trunk from inside the car. But I have a convertible. So, in order to prevent random strangers in the parking lot from popping my trunk when the top is down, you have to have the keys in the ignition for the button to work. Sooo… I was pretty much screwed. But luckily, a really nice couple with a little boy walked by right as I was attempting to use all my strength to rip open the trunk. I didn’t even care if I broke it because I was in panic mode. The couple offered to give me a ride, along with the 2 girls, back to the house (3 miles away) where I had a spare set of keys. So everything worked out. What a terrible feeling, though, when you realize you just did something really stupid and you can’t go back in time a few seconds to fix it. Ugh.

Anyway, I have the stomach flu. I was going to write a lot more tonight but that is about all I can handle for right now.

In an informal game of a golf, a mulligan is a shot that you don’t have to count… a do-over, if you will. But you only get one so you should always use it wisely. The same applies to mulligans in life. Perhaps you have never considered using a mulligan outside of a golf game, and if that is the case, you are about to be enlightened. Mulligans are a magical. They let you erase the past. In my opinion, they are the most valuable in the world of dating. Although, if you are like me, it is hard to know which person in your past is the most deserving of the only mulligan you’ll ever get to use. He should make you cringe when you think about him… maybe even throw up in your mouth a little. He should be the one person that your friends will NEVER let you live down. I’m talking completely repulsive. Now I bet you’re wondering why I ever dated such a guy…..right? MULLIGAN! I didn’t. In fact, I don’t even know what or who you’re talking about. =)

It really is that easy.

Now go! Use your mulligan! You’ll feel a whole lot better when you realize that he (or she) is no longer on the record. Awesome.

Honestly. Lifetime movies are the most ridiculous, dramatic, cliche films ever made… but beware because they are sooo addictive. Many a times have I flipped through stations, only to get sucked into a Lifetime movie about pregnant teenagers, online sex predators, crazy love affairs, kidnappings, or STDs in high school. It starts out with watching the last 45 minutes of She’s Too Young (my favorite one) because there’s nothing better on. But then you see a preview for Fifteen and Pregnant, which is coming up next, and you watch that one too. Before you know it, you’ve wasted away your entire Sunday afternoon in front of the TV because you can’t get enough of the drama drug. It is not a very well-known drug, but it’s dangerously addictive and causes brain damage when taken in large doses. Side affects may also include laziness, overeating, lack of motivation, and blurred vision from staring at the TV for too long.

Guys just don’t get it, but every woman with cable knows what I’m talking about.

salubrious / adj / favorable to or promoting health or well-being

In a sentence… Watching Lifetime movies all day is not a salubrious habit.

So I decided to contrive a list of the ten coolest, most awesome things I have ever done. There is a story behind each and every one of these things that I will eventually write about in the future, so you must continue to read my blog in order to find out more.

• Scuba dive in the Great Barrier Reef (Cairns, Australia)
• Get a free trip to Italy courteously of Tony Danza (Rome)
• Dance in the opening ceremony of Carnivale in Venice (picked from a crowd of 10,000)
• Cliff diving in Australia (Crystal Cascades… scariest thing ever)
• Be front row and center at a Jack Johnson concert (Milan, Italy)
• Go to the final Olympic bobsledding event up in the Alps (Torino, Italy)
• Watch the sunrise over the Mediterranean with a sexy British boy (Barcelona, Spain)
• Be an APC for the Top Chef Live Finale Chicago (APC = Assistant Production Coordinator)
• Be up in the Eiffel Tower during the light show at night (Paris… duh)
• Watch my parents fight away a monkey that came inside our hotel room in India (in the jungle)

So that is that. Notice most of those things took place in other countries… that is exactly why I like to travel so much. Life is most exciting when you are doing something crazy in a foreign country. Speaking of traveling, my friend Nikki and I want to go do a work exchange in Sydney, Australia next year. We were thinking of going over there in January or early February and working somewhere for 4 months or so… we’d hopefully find a house sitting situation to avoid paying rent. And then we’d use all the money we earned working to go travel Southeast Asia for a month or so before coming home. Since we started toying with this idea in February, I’ve been saving for it. I won’t do it if I have to put even a dime of it on a credit card because I have no desire to start grad school in credit card debt. Starting grad school broke (which I probably will be if I go through with this whole trip) is already gonna suck enough. As soon as I get my travelogue section up, I’m going to put more details about it as well as some sort of rough itinerary.

Also, since I have to apply for grad schools this fall, I am currently working on memorizing as many GRE vocab words as possible. In order to do this, I thought it might be a fun idea to incorporate them into my blog to make all of you (all 5 of you who actually read this) feel a bit smarter as well. So, the word for today is…

diatribe /n/ a forceful and bitter verbal attack against someone or something

In a sentence… There have recently been several diatribes against Hilary Clinton regarding her position on the war in Iraq and other political viewpoints.

Sorry, that was a lame sentence. I’ll get better at this, I swear.

I have way too many clothes. I have a closet full of clothes back in Michigan at my parents’ house, 2 or 3 huge garbage bags full of clothes at my apartment in Chicago, and more clothes that I can fit into my closet with me here in Santa Barbara. I think part of the reason I’ve accumulated so much is because my size hasn’t really changed very much in the past 8 years. Its weird, but I could probably still fit into clothes I wore as a freshman in high school. And so as long as the stuff still fits I have a hard time getting rid of it. Funny thing is, I have some clothes that I wouldn’t be caught dead in it, but still I keep them.

I tried selling away some shirts on Ebay but none of them even got any bids. (What does that say about my style? Heh.) I have a bunch of jeans that are a size too small but I always keep them around anyways “just in case” I lose a few pounds… is that really pathetic? I like to consider it motivation. =)

I need to stay out of clothing stores because I don’t have anymore hangers and I’m actually trying to save my money for more important things. It’s hard though because I always feel like I have nothing to wear. Haha, that’s such a typical “girl thing” to say.

Is anyone out there a size 4 or 6 and short? (I’m 5′2″) If you want some hand-me-downs, send me an email.